The More Things Change ...

I spent this Fourth of July at my mom’s house for a very relaxed sort of cook-out. It wasn’t a large-scale affair, just a few family members, myself, and- it must be said- a fair amount of alcohol. But that is neither here nor there.

Toward the evening the conversation turned to a box of old pictures my mother had found during her recent move. These were pictures and artifacts from the time before my parents were divorced, which in my family is a bit like saying they were from a time before the Flood. We spent the rest of the evening pouring over this find, which turned out to be a treasure trove of odd facts and forgotten stories from our childhood. There were a dozen or more random slips of paper- receipts, used envelopes, etc.- which had inscriptions such as, “July 1, ‘85- Brandon’s back teeth coming through,” and “Sept 4, ‘87- Keri [my sister] said, ‘Ma ma ma ma ma ma,” (this was followed by a short list of witnesses.) Although they seemed completely random and strange, it was fun to see these little milestones were noted and held onto.

The pictures themselves were priceless, bringing back half-formed memories from childhood and realizations how much people had changed over the years. My grandparents, who have always just been “old”, were a younger kind of old in these pictures. A high-school era photo of my mother revealed a young woman with the same petite frame as the woman I know now, but not as much of the confidence that she now possesses. Also, in my twenty-two years of being documented photographically, popular hairstyles have changed.

A lot.

Even more surprising, though, are the personality traits and characteristics that haven’t changed. Both my grandparents and great-grandparents, for instance, have apparently adopted the same formula for writing on the inside of birthday cards. First, there is a paragraph about why the card is late. Then there’s a paragraph about how proud they are of us and wonderful we’ve become (always appreciated, I should add, at any age!), and finally there’s a paragraph of local news, such as how hot it’s been in their area or what plants are blooming. This was simply the running theme of every card we found, but the familiarity and thoughtfulness still made me smile.

Of course, there is a certain vanity and self-centeredness that comes with any trip down memory lane. Where are more pictures of me? Are there more stories about me? Why are there so many pictures of me naked in the bathtub? And so on. My ego was certainly sated. One of my favorites was a letter of considerable length written to me by my grandmother on my 3rd birthday. In it she took the time to describe what I was like at that age, noting that I was independent, thoughtful, and often observed things that others missed. In the past six months alone I have had similar comments and compliments made to me.

My hands-down favorite, however, was another little note scribbled some other random bit of paper. It read, “Jan. 26, ’89- When Brandon was dropped off at preschool this morning, his teacher came up to him and said, ‘You’re turning four years old today, aren’t you?’ and as he was taking off his coat Brandon said, ‘Yeah, well, these things happen.”

Can you imagine? A four year old simply shrugging off his birthday with, “Yeah, well, these things happen.” And anyone who knows me will certainly agree that that sounds absolutely like something I would say today. The whole story made me wonder about how much we really, actually change throughout our lives. The fact that I was so undeniably me at four years old would suggest that, perhaps, we simply are who we are. At first that idea may seem kind of limiting, but I gained a great amount of self-confidence from it (as if I really needed more of that!) If we really are who we are, from day one or some point shortly thereafter, then that should give us a little more faith in ourselves. Trust your gut a little more. Don’t hesitate on some of those big decisions- you are who you are and you’re gonna have to trust that.

Don’t get me wrong; I am all about change. I love it, and I think a part of me thrives on it. But there does seem to be that central, unweathered part of me that stays the same. And when things go wrong, or when there’s simply nothing else to be said, he shrugs his shoulders and says, “Yeah, well, these things happen.”

Falling Into (A) Place

I promised myself I would use this blog only for my writing and not a 'News About Brandon' site, but this morning I'm so excited I could explode.

A few months ago I was trying desperately to get some sort of contact with people in Madrid, especially those teaching English. I had decided that there's only so much I could learn from general information websites and pamphlets; I needed to hear some real life stories. I wanted someone on the inside, so to speak.

Unfortunately, getting in touch with someone in Spain carried with it the same problem life has often given me: I don't know how to do it, and there's no guidebook or how-to for this sort of thing. I just sat down at a computer and said to myself, "Get in touch with a Spaniard. Ready? Go!" What I ended up doing was going to a kind of Spanish Craig's List site and skimming through ads for apartments and rooms for rent, and then sending out a dozen emails randomly- in both English and Spanish- to prospective helpers. English teachers, young students, etc. Crazy thing is, it worked.

Only one person responded, an engineer in Madrid. His roommate, Cheli, was an English teacher and had spent some time in the States. He put me in touch with her and we shot a few emails back and forth. The two of them have been very helpful and encouraging and have definitely allayed some of my fears and filled in the blanks for me.

This would have been help enough, but here's the exciting part: today's email informed me that Juan, the engineer, will be getting married and moving out, leaving Cheli looking for a roommate! She's offered the room if I need it and if I take her up on it I would have a place on Day 1 in Madrid! The price is right and Cheli would be a big help finding work. It's all still pretty early on, but if this works it's just one more piece falling into place.